Turtle shell

(No photo today. This was taken on July 30th.)
It's been raining since last night and I opened my eyes into this 10-ton body. Didn't get up until 2:20. Super achy. Feels like I'm wearing a giant turtle shell. Can't move. Stayed home all day. Continued clearing up old diary posts.

Hotter

(No photo today. This was taken on July 30th.)
Started cleaning up the diary from March since yesterday and continued today. Weather gets hotter. By just sitting in my room with the computer turn on, my neck gets wet with sweat. Left shoulder is rock-hard and very sore. Neck is super stiff too.

Yoga class

Bad me. Failed to sleep early again and got waken up by the second parcel. Estimated sleep time: 4 hours. The corners of my mouth is flaring up as I type this. The parcel's brokerage fee was less then the less one. Strange, but I will not complain. Wait... it's still way too expensive!

Ate some oatmeal and went to borrow A's bus pass. (Thanks!) Of course I forgot to factor in the driving and parking. Didn't check the time but I think I either narrowly made it, or just slightly late. There was a lady who was later than me, so I wasn't the last one. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but nonetheless, had some post holding. I think I'll be able to tell by tomorrow if it's given me any benefits or made things worse.

Session with OT continued after the yoga class. More info exchange. Then I went back to MT and looked at a few shops, and it was 5. Met up with and took him grocery shopping. Thanks for sharing the watermelon, blueberry, and bread!

Came home and kept falling asleep at the desk as usual. (T_T) FMG sent me another mail about closeout sales so... of course I'm looking again. Never learn. (T_T)

Sick

(No photo today. This was taken on the 16th.)
Decided not to go to yoga class because I really didn't feel up to it. Emailed E but also left a voice message just in case. Also emailed A to inform him that I won't be borrowing his bus pass. Got out of bed at 4. Spent the rest of today feeling sick. Finally dug up sis-in-law souvenir from a few years ago (reusable chemical hand warmer). It didn't last as long as I thought. Now I have to cook it back to liquid but I'll do it tomorrow. Vampire seriously sucks. (T_T) It probably sucks up all the iron pills I've taken and makes me stay pale.

So, haven't heard from him all day. He knows that I'm sick. Not even an email asking how I fell. So, should I not take this as evidence of his capacity? He will never love me. I can be sure now. All he wants is sex. Which, I'm still not ready to commit. And I really hates it when he makes it my fault and he's the victim. Sucks, really sucks.

Took a closer look at the MSM from Costco. It's for osteoporosis pain relieve. Grrrr.... I've bought the wrong thing...

Vamp

(No photo today. This was taken on the 16th.)
Extremely tired. Lower back especially bad. No energy. Kept falling asleep all day. Then at dinner time, mystery solved. The vampire showed up. A whole week too early. Does this have anything to do with the iron pills? Feel sick this time and need pain killer right away.

Crap... can't wear that pair of pants for tomorrow's yoga lesson... or maybe I should skip it?

Rain

(No photo today again. This was taken on the 18th.)
No wonder why I felt so bad yesterday. (Or even earlier.) It's been raining all day since night. Body stiff and canker sore very painful. No energy.

Zombie

(No photo today. This was taken on the 18th.)
Couldn't get up... and ended up lying in bed for too long. No energy. Kept falling asleep at my desk in the afternoon. Then brother called for eat-out day. At the restaurant, I realized I've left my handbag at his place! Aaaarrrgh!!!! This has never happened before. My brain has clearly been missing. (When leaving my place, I forgot to bring my slippers and jacket.) It could be the other stuff that I was carrying too. After dinner mom took advantage of brother's phone plan and made a long distant call. I sat with niece N to give her a few Photoshop tips. However, I've been using CS4 and got a bit lost in her CS5. Overall, I've been a zombie today. Mind has been extremely muddy. What happened...?

Weather fluctuations

(No photo today. This was taken on the 13th.)
Opened my eyes at noon but just couldn't get up. My whole body was frozen and heavy. My eyes couldn't stay open either. Didn't think I felt back asleep. Finally got out of bed at 2. My back was better than yesterday but the soreness has spread to the back of my right leg. Mom gave me some ointment before I slept, and it helped a lot. At least it let me relax enough to fall asleep.

Of course I completely failed to get up early. Phoned A up and found out he was doing much worse than me. Today is a lot cooler than yesterday so it could have been more comfortable to drive somewhere. Oh well. He was still feeling sick at 4 so there was no meeting today. But tomorrow I'd be borrowing his bus pass again so we'll still meet.

I'm sure he's feeling the weather. My current back condition masks my forecasting ability but I can still feel a little bit. Between late after and sunset, it switched from "sunny" to "OMG it's gonna rain anytime" every half-an-hour for who-knows-how-many-times. So much for my plan of taking a walk. Didn't feel well enough to vacuum my car again. Sigh... when will it get done?

Sore

Back's sore on the touch. That's why I can only wash my car once a year. (Twice the most.) When you're constantly in pain, there's no way your mood can be good. Met up with A anyway. He didn't seem to feel well either. But after a burger, he was better. My car was very hot and the bridges were jammed up so we stayed in the area. Went to drop off some stuff to the clothing donation box and recycling depot. Then DQ. A had his burger and I had a ice-cream Popsicle. Wasn't hungry. Shouldn't have eaten that but it was just too hot. Then Safeway for grocery. They don't have whole watermelon so we got one at a nearby store. After going back to A's place to drop off the stuff that needs refrigeration, we walked back out to a neighbourhood store for corn. Thanks A for sharing the watermelon and corn.

Came back home and kept dosing off at the desk as usual. Back hurts... Still need to vacuum the car... (T_T)

Black Friday

Luckily nothing bad happened. Thank God. Brought some ice-cream to dad just before 6PM. Dinner was over so he was back in his room... and completely naked. His T-shirt was on the bed but neither the male nurse nor myself could find his pants. Then the nurse checked the top of the wardrobe and there was one pair of shorts. Shouldn't be the one dad took off but a pair that the staff keep there. The mystery is, where has the pair dad was originally wearing gone?????? It wasn't in the trash can or outside the window.

Played with the cat some more after I exited the section. But the automatic main entrance door wouldn't open. Turns out it locks after 6 and I need to buzz the nurse. This time another nurse let me out through the backyard gate.

Washed my car... took a long time. Of course my back is really stiff and sore. Feeling extremely unwell... (T_T)

Mouth corner

(No photo today. This was taken on the 5th.)
Slept for the missed portion from the day before.... 7.5 hours? Back is not doing well. Especially lower back. Left should is also bad. Would have gone for a walk but I'm using that eczema cream on my mouth corners and must stay away from the sun. The rash has grown in size and feels irritated. The cream is long expired but it still work as moisturizer.

Cousin B called and I let her know that dad doesn't recognize the shoes and keeps throwing them outside his room... Sigh...

When I was about to put away the leftover tofu, mom opened the fridge and took out a crumbled bunch of clink wrap. OMG... she wanted to wrap the dish with it?!?!?!!!!!! Of course I used one of the Anchor glass bowls. That clink wrap was wrapping a piece of ginger root before and she kept it there for the next one. She claims that the tofu will be recooked again so it's fine. Sorry, I just cannot accept that. Why can't she understand that this is exactly the reason why people think old folks are dirty?

Peaches

Ended up sleeping too much. Or rather, couldn't get out of bed. Didn't get to wash my car as planned either. Body condition at worst. Probably affecting my thinking too, but I haven't been thinking either.

The peaches cousin L brought looked really expensive and high class. When we unwrapped them, 3 out of 4 are actually damaged. 2 are pretty bad. Mom said they're damaged before packaged. Evil store... too bad we don't where cousin L bought them from. And it's not polite to ask or tell her about the rotten peaches.

No photo

(No photo today. This was taken yesterday.)
Cousin L came around 12:30 as promised. She brought us egg tarts, grapes and peaches. The 4 of us had lunch at her favorite restaurant nearby. Ordered way too much food. Then we went to see dad with some of the food she brought. He seemed fine. If you didn't see him spit, you'd be fooled. They left after dropping us off. Mom has to start her eye drops tomorrow, so today was the last chance to visit grant aunt Y. But she didn't want to. (Because my car without A/C is too hot.) And I kept dosing off at my desk for the rest of the day again.

Can't believe I forgot to take Pinky picture at lunch and the nursing home... my back must be affecting my thinking...

Back and forth

(Photo was taken on June 29th and unrelated to subject.)
Finally replied A's mail but have not heard from him at the end of today. I hope he'll send me his flight schedule. Only 2 days left.

Surprise, surprise. Brother called after diner (around 9 or 10?). Thought he called from the States, but no. He forgot that he had to teach a class and had to come back after dropping everyone off at the hotel. After his class was finished, he drove back across the border. Yikes!! Such a waste of gas!! He called to let me know not to be scared by stuff he dropped off at home when I go to feed his Guinea pigs. Hmm... cannot imagine he's make such a big mistake. But we're only human.

Gotta plan out tomorrow's Lougheed mall trip... I want to also visit Army and Navy, Michael's. Then go feed the Guinea pigs... Mom probably want to see dad too...

Cold

The last batch of Etsy stuff arrived. This should be it for a while. The seller taped the small bags down onto a piece of cardboard and it was super difficult to remove thanks to the packing tape's adhesive strength. 3 bags were torn open in the process. Messy...

No energy. Feel cold even after hot shower. To be precise, above my shoulder blades felt hot but my trunk felt cold. Thought I could save a warming pad but couldn't. Only 3 left. Need to wrap a blanket around too.

Recorded, sorted, and stored away today's Etsy stuff and not much else.

The corners of my mouth has officially flared up. But why? Don't tell me it was the 3-hour sleep from a few days ago?

Vampire

Slow start, but successful taking no pain-killer. Stomach discomfort but bearable. Tired, low energy level, dizzy all day. Didn't do much other than working on the spoons and fixing some of the defective bead caps. Really tough on neck and shoulders.

Half dead

(No photo today. This is from last month.)
Not sure what happened but I have absolute no energy. Dosing off most of the day. Didn't even wash my hair.

Chills

(Picture was taken on the 28th and unrelated to subject.)
Felt cold... or chills. Totally nonfunctional between lunch and dinner. Kept dosing off at the desk. Body was on the edge of shutting down. Am I falling sick??? But I can't afford to! How am I gonna help mom with her eye-drops? Luckily I finally felt better after the dinner cleanup.

Prescriptions / tooth

Could not get out of bed easily. Aching all over. It has to be the front door light bulb changing yesterday. Had to deal with the vampire too. Then mom seemed to subconsciously shackled me down with a full dinner dish-washing plus alpha. Sigh... There's plenty of food in the fridge yet she went to buy a lunch box. Of course lots of left-overs. And she put everything on plates and bowls so I had to transfer them to glass Tupperware. There weren't enough so I had to do some juggling and ended up having to wash double the amount. By the time I met A, it was 3:30. I had dinner appointment at 5. Sigh... (T_T)

Thanks A for coming to Costco with me. Well, you got to pick up your parcel, and I got to pick up my prescriptions. As brother said, their fee is below $5 as to $7 to $10 at other pharmacies. Mom's 4 items saves her about $12. (But her total still exceed $130.) Now I feel it for her, and understand her concern when she said other people got 2 types of eye drops while she gets 3 plus an ointment.

Luckily traffic wasn't bad, and I was only late for 5 or 10 minutes with L's dinner. I got a half sandwich with multi-grain bread... bad decision. I thought something got stuck between 2 molars. After clearing the area, I felt a hole in one of the molars. OMG OMG OMG... lost filling!!!!!!! AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! I thought it was caused by the grains, but now that I think about it, the filling could have been lost who-knows-when! The grain only got caught in the hole!!!!! OMG... feeling so grossssss... Must call the dentist tomorrow. I really hate having to visit the dentist. First, I believe no one in this world enjoys sitting in a dentist's chair. Second, it's gonna cost me a fortune to refill that tooth! Third, he's gonna enlarge the hole first, I'm sure about that. I really really don't want to loose any more teeth mass. I've already lost 8 teeth. There are not many left. (T_T)

Airport

Picked A up from the airport, took Pinky pictures of all the chocolate bars he brought back. Wish I had more Pinkys on me. Went grocery-shopping with him, came back and made some crapes for dinner. Sifting the flour didn't help. Ended up squishing the lumps with the back of a spoon. Kind of works. Still made a mess by burning the crape and left tough burnt-on black patches on the fry pan.

L asked for my mailing address through e-mail. It must be for the wedding invite. I'm really in no condition to go, so I tried to discourage him from sending me one. Seems like that's the only thing on his mind. He ignored my other greetings and questions, and kept insisting that I send him my address. I hesitated. Then he got mad at me. Sigh... oh yes, I'm the biggest failure in this world. Everyone hates me. God hates me. At the end, I took a huge risk telling him that I'm going through an extreme retreat phase and will be seeing a doctor in a few days. No more reply form him, at least none tonight. Let's see if I've driven away yet another friend. Or, the whole world rejects me. I'm not allowed to have any friends.