Worst day this year (so far)

Non-stop rain. Ache ache ache ache ache ache ache ache ache ache... Just when I finally get called back to work and need to get up early, my back and shoulder hurt so much I couldn't sleep. Got only less than 2 hours approx. Didn't look a the clock. Rained like crap. Two minutes! Two minutes! Two minutes! Two minutes! Two minutes!
T W O M I N U T E S !!!!!!
And my long awaited and dearly needed income for today goes down the drain. God, why do you have to do this to me? I thought you don't hate me. Why do you have to make me change my mind again?

You're pushing me to kill myself, right? It was just that close today. That close. Perfect condition for a highway car crash. Teeth don't seem to be enough anymore. If you're punishing me for something I've done wrong, tell me what I've done wrong. I've been doing my best to be good. If this is what I get, might as well leave.

Tomorrow is gonna be another test. Maybe we can all leave in one car. Yes, all in one car. Clean and tidy. Three birds with one stone.

I'm sure this is the monster speaking. I hate myself for not being able to control the monster.Yeah, this is exactly why I don't qualify to live.

Mom is no help.
No help anywhere.
No hope anywhere.

Dream

This time it happened before I started stretching. Looks like I don't get good sleep lying flat on my back.

Forgot most of it already. For the parts that I do remember...

I was dressed in German folk costume walking towards an Oktoberfest-like party housed in a building shaped like a giant wine barrel. The streets were like Granville Island. As I approached the building, I saw P near the entrance when I was still 1-2 blocks away. Oh boy oh boy? L was there too. As if automated, I continued walking towards P. When I reached the entrance, the building turn into some kind of art studio. Classes were in session. "Shout and Draw". Students were screaming. It was chaotic and kind of scary. P was making a mix-media piece outside the classroom with 3 or 4 other students doing their own thing . There was no greeting despite we haven't seen each other for a long time. It was awkward. After only a few words, there was a gap. Can't remember how events connect, but the next thing was me being shown baby photos of Ae. (Really didn't make sense.) At this point I wasn't even talking to P anymore. It was a person I may or may not know. When Ae was a baby, his head was deformed, misshaped, and irregular, with lower IQ. Somehow he was eventually cured. I saw an event being "play back" in front of me. Ae was about 2 years old, standing at the pool side, holding the feet of another baby. He swung that upside-down baby like a pendulum to make his head dip in and out of water. Then baby Ae wobbled towards the edge of the pool, hitting the upside-down baby's head onto the side of the pool. The whole thing was so surreal, it was like a cartoon. An abusive one.

There was more, but it slipped away before I could write it down.

Kitkat: Cherry

Yet another non-brown Kitkat. I've read reviews of this, and I agree. It's not good. Same as most non-brown varieties, this cherry is kind of like cough syrup with too much sugar. Too sweet! The box is also the re-sizable type (see lemon Kitkat) which allows you to tear off some cardboard and make the box smaller. Inside the box is a promotion for some band. With the included code, you can down load one of 3 songs. I forgot all about it and of course it expired. Oh well.

Day-timer

Finally bought a 2010 day-timer! Still, just under 5 bucks before tax. No discount. There were only 5 left. 2 in green and 3 in blue. I thought picking green, like a "green light", might give me a boost. (Superstitious?) But the colour doesn't look that good, and I'm feeling "blue", so I followed my feelings. Not that I want the whole year to be "blue", though.

Michael's got day-timers for $1.50 since last December. If they weren't the thick type, I'd have bought those. My question is, why does a thin one cost 3.3 times more than a thick one??? Doesn't make any sense!

Dream

Woke up, lying in bed, stretching my stiff-like-rock back. Took a break and fell back asleep. (T_T)

Had a weird dream. Well, almost all my dreams are weird.

It was a projection of reality. In the dream, I woke up and found things in my room had been moved. My purse usually sits on my desk chair, was hanging on the wall where a poster used to be. There were more purses on the hook too.

Got out of my room, took a glance at the side table near the front door for a parcel I'm expecting, and it was there alright. The box was quite a bit smaller than it should, though. Went into the bathroom to wash my face. The room was completely different. Not just the bathroom, the whole house turn into a cross between our existing home and that of Mrs. L's, plus some of our old home. When I turn on the tab, a really tall unknown lady with a very small head came in, wanting to use the bathroom. I let her use the room first.

With a duster in hand, mom kind of told me that some of brother's daycare costumers will be coming here from now on, and a room is being cleared out for a helper to live in. I finished washing my face and ran into another unknown lady. The I proceed to cook oatmeal. The range was different too. It turn from electric coil into a gas range with open fire. A pot and wok were cooking. clearly not our kitchenware. I didn't want to mess with that, and went to see the living room. The floor plan changed again. There I noticed the house seemed bigger with more rooms. There were kid's furniture and toys all over the place. Mom continued to clean up and move things around. It was like trying to fit furniture from two homes into one.

Then I woke up at that point. I left the radio on when stretching, and the DJ was still talking about the same singer whose face was hidden from public by the record company until they release a CD, and the sales tactic worked. I thought, wow, all that dream in the duration of one song? But when I look at the clock, it was about an hour later. The radio program lasts 2 hours. So it could be the same DJ talking about the same thing twice. Hmm...

And... in reality, nope, the parcel hasn't arrived.

Pocky: Banana

Seasonal limited edition. As I've said before, banana is not my cup of tea. However, Pocky seems to have done it just right. I like this banana Pocky! The amount of chocolate and banana flavour is perfectly balanced. Or, I was just hungry.

I've been curious about those chocolate covered banana in front of Japanese shrines. Missed my chance to try it during last trip.

Black sesame rice wafer

Taiwanese product. A gift from aunt C. (Thanks!) I expect it to be artificial, but it's surprisingly good! The fragrance and taste of sesame and rice are very natural. If this isn't natural, they've fooled me well. The sweetness is just right too. Some people may think it's not sweet enough, but I think it's perfect. (Of course, I was hungry too.) Don't know the price, so I can't say if I'll buy more.