Time flies. My bonus life has lasted 10 years so far. But what have I done in these 10 years? Sadly, none of my effort seem to yield any fruit.Am I not digging hard enough? Am I digging the wrong hole? Or is it both?
At first I was just happy to be alive. Didn't think I need anything else. But, eventually, "alive" alone isn't enough. The "job" part was kind of expected, but I never thought I'd loose friends because of the side effects.
... Of course, I'd still like to believe life, no matter how tough, is still better than death. Haha... dumb question, isn't it?
Today should be a day to celebrate...
But...
Why have I fallen into a give-up mode?
What is this sense of panic when seeing everyone else move ahead and I'm still so behind?
Why can't I completely let go of the past and start fresh?
Why do I feel so trapped and useless?
Or...
Is it simply bad luck and bad energy flowing around me near Halloween, just like 10 years ago that almost took my life?
1 comment:
Thanks. I'm glad you're drawing. (I stopped.)Well I'm taking it one day at a time. Guess I'm finally admitting defeat at last.
And... that picture was a sunset.
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