Glasses

Took S to Richmond for glasses frames shopping. He's been to 5 other stores already. I'm glad he found one he likes at the end. (I still think the thinner frame looks better, though...) Seems like the staff at Osaka Optical took him straight to the most expensive frames right away... not nice, not nice. But S didn't border to look around either.

After we dropped S off at the station, A remained in the back seat. It's not the first time. He tends to like that. I can't help but wonder, is he just too lazy to move, or dose he not want to sit with me? Either way, the effort of moving to the front seat is greater than the desire to sit with me. Hmm...

Nevertheless, thanks A for the computer help (and grilling the pork). I'm so sorry the vampire gave me a surprise attack. It's not supposed to show up until 6 days later. There's something wrong... (T_T)

Cleanup

Guess A's been busy. Haven't received a reply until night despite I sent my message in the morning. A little disappointed as he always complains about me not getting up early.

Finally recorded and filed the stuff from Etsy and NY... wait, only half. I still need to pick up an empty case or two from the dollar store. Ran out again.

Continued with Y's mail. Still not done. Takes forever. I'm loosing steam...

My posts are gone!

(Photo was taken last Feburary and unlated to subject.)
The portion I posted yesterday was gone! What's Blogger doing? I've been having trouble logging in for the past 2 nights!

Holiday Ball WTF??????

What kind of moron would call Christmas tree ornaments "holiday balls"????? This is totally unacceptable!!!!!

Pillow

Hair lost gets worse. Don't want to admit it, but looks like I'm under stress...

Bald patches have appeared. (T_T) (T_T) (T_T)

Face

Doesn't look like my younger niece has grown as normal as I thought. She likes my Pinky dolls, and always ask if I have any when we eat out. She's been pretty good with the dolls, but tonight she poked a pen into the hole of my Pinky's hand and got it dirty. I said, you naughty girl, and took the Pinky back. Then she cried and hide her face all throughout dinner. (But she was absolutely calm and normal when she ate. Then after she's done eating, she cried again. So fake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) She would not answer when I asked her why she cried. I tried to talk some reason into her, but she completely ignored me. Her whole body language was saying, "you have done something terrible to me."

What the heck is that? Who's the victim here? Obviously, her tears was not because she felt sorry she's done something wrong, but she thought I was mean to her. How can she think she can do whatever she wants, and whatever she wants is right? How can a 9-year old not understand action and consequence? What made me upset, was her mom being on her side instead of teaching her to behave. Sigh...

I know, I know. This is exactly why I should not have kids. And this is exactly why my life is at a dead end.

Faces of Death

How appropriate for today. (Warning: not for weak stomach.)

Sorry, God, I failed you, and I failed myself at the end.
It's impossible for him to know the weight, responsibilities, and consequences of ones actions.
He is unable to put himself in my shoes.
To him, I'm always the bad guy.
God, were you trying to test me? Or just toying with me?
No, sorry, I take it back. He's the one doing that.
Yes, I'm very sad, and very, very tired. Tired of wasted efforts.

Eczema?

Getting worse. The area on my arm is even worse. It's formed a lump and is sore on the touch. The itching got to the point of interfering with my sleep last night. Woke up with scratches all over. Must be the hang nail. I don't have a cat, but my arm looks like it. (T_T)

Went to the family doctor and got a referral to a dermatologist. Takes a month!!! Not sure if that doctor is or will be on holiday. Missed my chance to find out thanks to that guy in front of me who came back and bucked the doctor some more. (He had some forms filled by the doctor and the receptionist was busy dealing with his receipt.) Grrr...

Car: door... !

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Thew... the temperature is at least bearable comparing to yesterday. However, my car is still a sauna. (T_T)

Found out the driver's side door is broken. Part of the plastic frame has come loose. It's super easy to break into my car now. (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) Not sure when it happened. At least I didn't notice it last time I drove it. It could easily be whoever broke in through the rubber trimming last time. (T_T) Now how much is this gonna cost me? (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T)

Hot 4

Tried the opposite of my winter hand and lap warmer technique. It worked... ! Keeping a bottle of ice water on your lap helps a lot. I am at least able to use the computer before sun down. But... nothing else. (T_T)

The itchy flaky skin around my mouth is not going away... (T_T)

Hot...

(Photo has nothing to do with subject...)
The florescent light overheats and turns itself off. (Comes back automatically when it's cool enough.) I'm 200% sure my previous computer would do the same.

Turning the computer off soothes the heat a little, but then I'd be working on beads without net radio. This heat sure doesn't help when you're trying to do intricate stuff.

Wire cutter

Why does everything have to break within this week? (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) Yeah I was careless. It was all my fault.
The wire was thin. I assume it was soft enough.

Car: conclusion (hopefully)

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Insurance $1250, plus the previous maintenance and repairs = $2006. Just when I have no work this month. (T_T)

Car: distributor

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The car ended up costing me another $389. It was the distributor. Oil and brakes $212 + battery $155 + distributor $389 = $756. (T_T)

My brother's mechanic said I don't need a spare tire if I have BCAA membership. If I need to drive to the States or long distance, I can buy a used one for about 30 bucks. Somehow I get the impression that the spare tire is gonna cost me. What a relieve. I don't want to spend too much on something that I'm not gonna use.

Have been having a lot of "this channel is currently unavailable" error on the TV. Wonder what's going on...

Hair cut

(Photo has nothing to do with subject.)
Haven't heard from my brother yet. Don't know how my car is doing.

Technically speaking, I can take a bus to my haircut appointment downtown. But 2 things held me back. (1) I've been using that ointment around my mouth which says avoid sun exposure. (2) I only have SPF 15 facial lotion, way too weak for today. Sigh... don't want scars, better play it safe. Oh well, apart from my hair actually getting too long, I was hoping a haircut would improve my mood.

Haven't DL FMAB for a while. Better do it myself instead of relying on someone else. To my shock, the site I've been getting DL from no longer carry the files! (T_T) I manage to find some loose ones after searching online, but still haven't found all of them. Sigh...

Need to find positive things... think positive... At least I'm still alive, have a roof above my head, and not starving... (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T)

Car trouble again

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My car wouldn't start again. The worse is, my brother has borrowed it, and it failed in his hands. He needed to pick up his girls from summer school. (His own car was sent for a repair.) In order to get help from BCAA, I'll have to be with the car. I could take a bus to Granville Island, and then call BCAA, but it would be too late for the girls. My sister-in-law has the anther car but she didn't turn on her cell phone and couldn't be reached.

Meanwhile I phoned up my garage for advice. Since I just replaced the battery 3 days ago, this doesn't make sense. The guy said it's probably the distributor. Let it cool and restart. (Yup, my brother parked in the open, under the scorching sun.) Luckily the car finally started after he opened all the doors and hood and "prayed intensely". (Yup he's far on the religious side.) He also reached his wife so she would be picking up the girls.

So, instead of dropping off my car, he took it to his mechanic and swap it with his car.

Is this my bad luck? Or my brother's?

Allergy?

Itchy, flaky... (T_T) Actually I think this is not allergy. It's stress. Hope it's not gonna turn into eczema. (T_T)

Dim sum

Stress level maximum tolerance exceeded...

Exploded.

And of course, always regret my actions. (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) What am I supposed to do? What can I do? "Positiveness", "emotional support" are so out of reach...

Car: battery

I'd say this has been the worst week so far this year. 30-degree doesn't help. The vampire doesn't help.

As expected, my back's been killing me from yesterday's car wash. I was counting on today's chiropractor's appointment. Just when I was ready to leave the house, the car wouldn't start. The battery was dead. Why? Probably because I started the car twice without letting it run for some time yesterday. All thanks to a new shorter hose that doesn't let me wash both sides of the car at once.

With my mom's help, we asked our next door neighbour to jump my car. When I opened the trunk to fetch the cable, I notice the spare tire and tools are gone! OMG! When did it happen?!?!?! I was soooooo shocked. (T_T)

Then neither the neighbour nor myself know how to attached the cable. Yes, I've only done it twice in 17 years, always with help. I lost it. Sigh... Why, why now...


I think I lost all hope and purpose to life in that instance. Nothing I've done worked. Nothing I tried to do worked. None of my effort makes a difference. Maybe God actually hates me. Mom didn't help either. She said lets die together. Mentally she has never ever been helpful.

Forgot I could call BCAA. 45 minutes wait. Had to give up the chiropractor appointment. (T_T) The guy did his job well. The car started so quickly and easily. But he recommended replacing the battery. So there I went, back to the garage where I just had an oil change and new brakes yesterday. The battery cost $155. (T_T) The chiropractor's appointment was rescheduled to tomorrow. Couldn't go to renew my insurance either.

Seriously needed a break. Still have 2 half price Michael's coupons. So, Richmond. When you're having bad luck, even the washroom gives you no toilet paper. Luckily I have some substitutes.

Then I noticed the Sculpey Al bead I made was gone! The cord broke! Aaaaaargh!!!!! (Thank God it was found in the car later.) Then S called. She arrived in town. I tried to write down her hotel number, then noticed the back cap of my pencil was gone! Sigh... Why why why why why why why why why why why... why does everything have to happen at once?

God, what are you trying to tell me?

Car: brakes

Only managed to go to bed at 2. Alarm set for noon but I ended up sleeping till 10. Not too bad considering working all night.

Time for an oil change. Though it wouldn't go over $50 but they found the front brakes are almost gone. So the total came to $212. (T_T)

Finally washed my car. It's been almost a year. Felt like doing something stupid so I also vacuumed. Tomorrow is gonna be sore. That's OK I think I need it. But the sad thing is, the brush sucks and the hood is all mat and still dirty. All that time and effort for nothing. (Just like so many things in my life.) What's the point?