Case manager

Finally, called up our case manager to find out what the situation is. Told her about Mrs. L who applied after us, being able to line up at 3 nursing homes, and ended up getting into our first choice which was not even on her list. As far as I know, she didn't "buy" the bed. So, the only possibility left, according to our case manager, was that she "used magic". Sigh... What's going on???

As I updated her with our grossly over the limit situation, I had to spill my dark secret of using pain to stop myself from damaging whatever or whoever around me when dad pushes all my wrong buttons. She then misunderstood that I was gonna kill myself or something, and called the police on me. The dispatcher on the phone thought I was upset because my dad is to be sent away (totally opposite) and threatening to hurt myself. Sigh... This is unbelievably humiliating. She told someone else that I "threaten to hurt myself" in order to get things my way? What is this crap??? Obviously she doesn't know that I have been using pain as a lid for years, and it's not an exchange with anybody to get anything.

It was also extremely embarrassing besides humiliating that I had to tell my whole story starting with my accident 15 years ago which caused me to loose control of my emotions, in front of 3 policemen who showed up. Although our case manager said she's on my side and trying to help me, somehow I don't feel I can trust her completely. Same for those policemen.