Isleri

(Thanks Andrew for this one!)
Hmm... by looking at the picture, I thought this is one of those chocolate coated jelly center marshmallow. Wrong!! Chocolate coated alright. But there's no marshmallow, but cookies with hazel nut cream filling. Quite good!

There's some kind of unidentifiable fragrance. So I ate the layers individually, like how an Oreo is dissected. Strangely, the fragrance disappeared! The layers became very bland, and the filling tasted like pure icing sugar. Strange, very strange. An example of "the whole is greater then the sum of the parts".

Flu shot

(Photo has nothing to do with subject. It was taken on the 20th. Now the leaves are all gone.)
Hanging upside down continues. No energy at all. Can't move. (T_T) (T_T) (T_T)

Got a call from my family doctor's office yesterday, telling me to go take the H1N1 shot today. Appointment was set at 2 pm. Hey how come I get one first? I'm not in any of the high risk group. As expected, the receptionist called again this morning to correct it. Yup, I need to wait.

Still haven't heard from my boss. She should be back in town for almost 2 weeks. This is highly unusual, as her next show is the 3rd week of November. It should be crunch time right now.

4 of 5 / $1 lesson

Forth of the 5 batches arrived. Only one more now. Hmm... I forgot what's in it already... It's from Hong Kong. The seller says it takes 2-3 weeks for shipping. I don't believe it. Usually it's only 7-10 days. Don't tell me they're sending by surface mail...

So, this is the missing bag of beads which costs $1 ($1.12 after tax). Had to make a special trip to Richmond, but I got it back without any problem. The owner's son who was staffing the counter at the time noticed, and put it aside.

I know you'd say, just forget that $1 and save the time and gas. Yes I thought about that too. But I do need the beads. And, it seems like there's another reason. It was as if... I was sent there to receive a lesson.

The store owner was very talkative. We chatted for... 2.5 hours. She seems to have the worst luck in the world. She's like... cursed, no kidding. Let's say, it's such a waste if she doesn't write an autobiography. And it's so twisted, I think it has all the elements for a successful movie or TV series.

After hearing her story, a big chunk of the darkness clouding my heart dissipated. Her problems put me to shame. Things may not go my way, but I'm still very very very lucky.

Carpet cleaning

Weather's been bad. Grey and rainy. Took me a whole hour to peel my back off the mattress. Had planned to take A to get his frame refund at Michael's Richmond. Needed to wash my hair first, though.

It was about 2:10 when I was ready to leave the house. Then mom got a call from our neighbour. The carpet cleaning guy was coming to work on their house. It would be our turn next. All of a sudden, furniture and all the junk had to be moved away from the living room. Thought I'd help a bit on that before I left. Dad wasn't moving although he's the one who has the most muscle power among mom, me, and aunt Y. Well, he does have an excuse from his aneurysm. Mom has a sore foot from infection. Aunt Y is in her 80's and has lung cancer. I would go to hell if I don't help out. Moving furniture alone shouldn't be a big problem, especially with 2 people working together on heavier stuff.

Then, mom wanted to vacuum! How can I leave at that point? So, I did it. Vacuumed. Every bit of it. Knowing it's gonna cost me dearly in a few hours if not tomorrow. I've only done it less than 5 times since the accident 13 years ago. (And with good reasons.) Ended up seeing A at around 3:30. He even gave up on going anywhere. Me? All dressed and sitting in the car, sweating from vacuuming. I suppose I could give up too. Then I can give up on myself again. And decorate my arms. (Did it later anyway.) Now that I look back, it just might be a better choice as I've been cranky and grumpy beyond salvage. We ended up going after all. At least got something done.

Got some more beading supplies from that bead store in Continental Center. So A wasn't serious when he said he'd buy me beads. I shouldn't have believed him. As a result I will seriously have to lock myself up for a month so I won't spend any more money. He kept hurrying me to finish. That gave me a very unenjoyable time. (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T)

And when I got home, one bag of metal beads was missing. It was probably left at the bead store. Sigh... That's it. That's the last straw today. (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) Why does my day have to suck so much????

And of course, the effects from vacuuming has grown. To be precise, it's no longer "ache" but "wrong". Very very very very very wrong. My left shoulder is sore on the touch. I can't turn my head to the left. Any other direction feels like my neck's been chopped off and sewn back again. 3/4 of my back has gone numb. My chest feels like I'm wearing a corset. My breathing is constricted. All the joints in my whole body feels like they're off by 15%. And I, I feel like I'm being hung upside-down.

Everybody thinks I'm normal. Hence everybody expects me to behave normally, do normal things. No one understand what I have to go through. No one. This "ache", makes me grumpy. I don't want to be grumpy, but I have no control. It's my own body and mind yet I have no control. I don't like it, and I hate myself for it.

There I was, lying on the sofa in this stink-like-chemical living room, stretching, hoping to nudge bones and muscles and tendons back together in place. I couldn't stop tearing.

Why? Did it hurt so much yet I couldn't feel?

No, it's more like helplessness and hopelessness. I'm painfully aware that right now mom is the one who's taking care of most things. I'm next in line when she's down, like today. But I'm not adequate. Something as simple as vacuuming pushes me 30 feet into the ground. There is just no hope, no future for a non-able body.

To seal the damage in, A actually saw the bag of beads left on the counter at the bead store. Why didn't he alert me? He could have saved me the trouble of going back. Sigh... I know. He got so bored he couldn't wait to leave. Maybe he did it on purpose to "punish" me for boring him. Hey, when I go to your stores that I'm not interested in, have I ever show impatience? I'm glad you "enjoy spending time with me", but... don't you want me to be able to say the same? I'm so very very very disappointed.

15% off

9 am to 1 pm at Michael's with coupon, on entire purchase including sale items.

Needed to take mom to see the doctor regarding her infected toe. Made it less than 10 minutes before the deadline at Michael's. It was 1:07 when I paid. Turn out they were very loose on the deadline. I went back for a second round and finished at around 1:30.

Also got some unexpected finds on Main Street. I've been searching for 8 months for small Cabochon settings for some of my tiny cameos. Plus some mini wood beads. Today's spending... about $50. Ouch... (T_T)

3 of 5

Before I went to the chiropractor, the third batch arrived from California U.SA. by air mail. The seller even included a little freebie (12 assorted size printed wooden beads). Shipping is $3.25 while actual postage is only $1.75. Well I guess there's handling fee too.

About freebies... yes it seems like a nice practice. However, I may not like or be able to use whatever mystery item they'd send. Plus, do you seriously think it's free? The cost comes out of, you-know-who. I'd rather not have freebies and get a lower price.

Mon

Thanks for the monitor! It's awasome!

Ya know, ya really didn't have to.

Now the dual screen is too hard to control with my tablet. I'll need to upgrade its size. (T_T) Definitely can't do before I get a better job.