Lavender

Eat-out day with brother's gang. But not before visiting dad. As usual, the floor was covered with his spit. It looked like he's been sitting in his room for a while because the spit was confined to near his chair. Mom asked if he finished dinner, and he said yes. So Mom gave him the banana she brought. When he was done eating, a staff brought him dinner! Did he not know if he's eaten or not? Or did he lie so that he could eat the banana first?

When mom was watching dad eat his dinner, she notice he wasn't wearing any dentures! OMG... he was already half done eating! Why didn't he notice he need dentures to eat?!?!?! It was sitting in the washroom cabinet. Mom gave it to dad, and he continued eating. Afterwards, he was fiddling with the dentures probably because he's got food trapped between it and his gums.

It's just so hopeless...

We went to the other branch of the Taiwanese fish soup noodle place. Very crowded. Long lineup. This time we were smart about portion size and ordered the right amount. (No leftovers.) Then we made a stop at brother's. Mom got to play with the Guinea pigs and I helped with harvesting lavender flowers from the stems. Then I got to have the stems. Thanks, sis-in-law! Although dad has moved out, we didn't get to do anything with the carpet and it still stinks. Less than before, but still stinks. Lavender helps.

Babysit, duo monitor

Did a bunch of cleanup. Brother and sis-in-law have some church gatherings to attend so they dropped off their girls to us. (40th anniversary banquet $25 per head! Definitely not worthwhile to take the kids!) I managed to fix the double monitor problem before the girls started to bug me. Actually only niece N did. Niece G didn't join in until very late. She was into her i-touch games... or was it drawings?

The best solution turns out to be the most simple one. Even A exhausted his tricks on my disappeared font viewer. (Or was he fed up with me???) Reverting back to the old duo monitor setup, and then move the font viewer window back to monitor 1. That simple. I have been reluctant to do it because my back and neck have not been well. Didn't want to climb under and behind the desk. Oh well, I will not be seeing A so I guess I can risk being grumpy. (Instead of feeling pain, I feel "wrong" and become grumpy when my back goes bad.)

Then I didn't want to take a chance, so I did not install the switcher and UPS. (Sorry...) I feel more comfortable working on L's logo first. (In case something goes wrong and I'll loose the use of my machines.) It's been so late, I'm not sure if he'd even accept it. (Well, it's not done yet, of course.)

Loacker Creme Noisette

From 2011 January. "Fine milk chocolate biscuits with hazelnut cream". The "biscuit" is actually wafers. Overall heavy on chocolate. It's like... 80% chocolate, 10% wafer, 10% bits of nuts. And within the chocolate portion, the filling between the wafers is very creamy and rich. The taste of nut is quite strong. Just a touch too rich and sweet. Made in Italy, it doesn't leave a sour after taste. A box only contains 12 biscuits and on the expensive side.

Cell phone

Thanks A for the computer help! Thanks S and A for the cell phone help! Wow... I have no idea my phone can do that much!

No hope

Dad torn up yet another piece of clothes. It's of course one of the overalls.

I know mom's been unhappy. But I don't want to be the recipient of her negative energy. I've got way too much myself. I can't handle her passive aggressiveness any more.

I pointed out the rice cooker may have expired. The non-stick coating obviously is bubbling and chipped. I think she's been pretending not noticing? (OK the bubbles are very fine so it looks like a rim of stain... but how can she not know it's non-stick and shouldn't have anything "stain"?) So I said we should switch to the stainless steel pot. Mom argued that the rice cooker is excellent in cooking congee, and you don't need to watch over it. I argued that if we keep eating whatever micro particles that may seep out, we'll become like dad. She didn't want to agreed, but gave in and proceed to soak the grains... while saying she doesn't care and wants to die. Geeze... where did that come from?

I said, this stuff you keep saying is making me want to die. She said happily that, than lets die together. Geeze... is that what she wants of me? I'm sorry, even if I'm gonna kill myself, I will not do it together with her. She's like a drowning person holding onto and dragging down whoever is closest. I'm unfortunate enough to be right next to her. I'm sick and tired of being drag down by her. Does she know what she's showing me as an example of mother? No wonder I'm single. She shows me that being a mother is so ugly. I despise her for killing hope.

To be honest, I always know she has no hopes or plans for me as a child. She gave me ugly haircuts and dressed me up in her sense of fashion, which drove my friends away. She never wish for my happiness. Never wish that I would someday find someone special. All she wants now, is for me to not run away and stay at her side until she dies. In other words, she does not want me to have a future. Period.

How can I not despise her??? How can I live without numbing my heart???

Dropoff

Dropped off 3 large cans of cookies to the nursing home staff for Thanksgiving. One for each shift.

When we got there, dad was napping in bed, half-naked. Somehow most of dad's clothes were in the drawers instead of the closet. I don't think that's a problem, but mom started to put them into the closet, and discovered there weren't enough hangers. Nothing can be done, so the clothes went back into the drawers. I still think that's not a problem. Why did mom think it was such a big deal??? Sigh...

I noticed dad's room now has a hanging lamp instead of a table lamp. Probably to keep him from dismantling it. I thought he's not allowed to have any lamp. So this is good. But he must have been messing around with the walker grand-aunt Y lend him. One of the release button is damaged... bended upward and no longer work. Sigh... (T_T)

Dad was coughing up phlegm and spitting it out into his hand. There is no toilet paper because he keeps flushing them down the toilet. (When he was at home, he consumed a roll in each washroom each day, which added up to 2 rolls a day.) Can't blame the staff, but it wouldn't work out because dad would just spit onto the floor or furniture or wipe with his clothes. I asked for a roll and got one. Not sure how long that roll would last. Sigh...

Thank God for the sun. I needed it for the replacement shots. (Which still didn't work out for the 2 stubborn pairs of problematic earrings.) Gorgeous sunset. Spent the night processing images but far from getting done. Very far...

Have been feeling unwell in the stomach for the past 2 days. Was it that leftover soup heavy with cooking rice wine from the Taiwanese place? But I only mixed a few spoonful into my congee! Actually it was more than stomach. It was higher. I fear my heart might not be doing well. After all, it was bruised back then. Not sure how much longer it can last.

Cans of...

Thanks A for helping me get those huge cans of cookies (for nursing home staff)!

And sorry for the spill...